The Five Adventures at Meijers
by XmidnightXcloudX
Summary: Okay... this is soo random that it's funny. Yes it's completely ridiculous... but just read it okay? You'll laugh. No offence to Mexicans. This is how I met Sasuke. And what happens because of it.
1. Adventure One, Meeting

Hi!! Okay... I was like soo bored so this happened... I almost slipped on ice in a Meijers parking lot so this came about. It is cold here. And there is ice. It's okay if you don't know what a Meijers is. It's like a Walmart Superstore. And if you don't know what that is... well... it's a store with food, clothes, toys, and stuff like that... okay so now R&R. (insert Naruto disclamer here. and i don't own meijers either.)

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**The Five Adventures of Sasuke and Midnight at Meijers**

As told by Midnight.

For my homeboy… SASUKE "The Mexican" Uchiha.

So like one day, possibly a few years ago to posting date... I met my first (and only) Mexican homeboy. Yea… Here's how it all went down.

The First Adventure…

Day one…

My mom and went to Meijers on a cold winter's day in early January. We were unloading the random crap we just bought into the beaten down old car.

My mom was putting the cart away when this guy came up to me with a gun and yelled, "Give me your tacos bitch!"

I turned around swiftly to see a slightly shorter kid with a black, marshmallow coat about the same age as me. I thought he was fat… but it was just the coat, as I later found out. He had weird spiky

"I'm not gonna give you anything!!! Get away from me!!" I yelled annoyed. I wanted him out of my face. After all… he was just a simpleton Mexican way to far north for his own good.

I flung his gun out of his hand with my telekinesis! (Yes. I have telekinesis. Well had… back then… it was the early 2000's okay?! It was from my 90's experiences. Ah the 90's. A great time for music and misunderstandings…)

It shocked him to see his fake gun, which was really an empty water gun, fly from his hands and into a passing old lady's hair.

"What the…?! How the hell did you do that?!" He asked freaking out while staring at his hands.

"I have become so smart that I can use my mind to move things!!!" I said proudly. I step forward and got into a fighting position. Then I wondered something… where the bloody was my mother?! Ah well…

"I'm sorry!!" He pleaded and dropped to his knees. He was trying to fake me out. It was apparent in his eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul ya know.

"No you're not! Now get up and fight!!" I yelled, now even more annoyed at this ridiculous idiot.

He sighed. He stopped trying to fake. He got up and looked me in the eye. I could have sworn I'd seen him before… but where?

"My name is Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha." He said proudly as if I should know who he is.

"Yea and…?" I said. I had no clue who the hell this guy was!

"You've never heard of me?!" He yelled looking disappointed.

"Nope. Don't know of ya." I said. God was he annoying.

"The Uchihas. The most famous clan of… well … everywhere!!! Everyone knows of the Uchihas!!" He yelled.

"Oh yea?" I said walking up to another old lady passing by. "He lady, have you heard of the Uchihas?"

"Devil!!" She yelled and ran away yelling that demons were going to kill her. I stared blankly and the running crazy old lady.

"Hey! Wow… was she talking about me… or Uchiha?" I asked still staring. Sasuke stood there with his mouth wide open.

"Uh… I don't… really know…" He said still in shock. "Wow…"

"Yea…" This day couldn't get any stranger.

"Hey! You never told me your name!" He yelled.

"You threatened me! You don't have a right to know my name!!" I yelled. Damn was this guy pushy.

"Oh come on. I wasn't really gonna shoot you!" He said trying to convince me to tell him my name.

I scoffed. This guy was pathetic. Hey wait… where the hell is my mom??!!

"The truth is…" He looked into my eyes again and said the strangest of things. "I thought you were the beautiful white girl I'd ever seen!!!!"

I stared blankly. I guessed from his reaction to my expression I thought he was insane.

"It's true!! Your skin is so white the sun reflects off of it like the snow!" He said. Okay… now I'm starting to worry if he's a predator that targets children.

Then I thought of something. Oh my god! It's MJ!!

"Just stay away from me, you perv!" I yelled. I took a fighting position again.

"Hey, hey, hey! I don't want to fight you! I just want to talk." He said motioning me to back down. "I'm serious."

"Why did you come to me? And why are you here at Meijers?" I asked standing up again.

"Well… I'm lost and you were just… uh… never mind." He said staring at the snowy ground. "Will you tell me where I am?!"

I sighed. "You haven't been in the states long have you?"

He bowed his head in shame. "No…"

"Oh come on! Quit being so emo! Cheer up! How about this…" I said walking over to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "I'll hang out with you today and show you around. How about that?"

He looked up at me. He saw my trusting smile and his expression brightened.

"I'd like that." He said and smiled. Okay… his smile… it creeps the hell out of me...

"Come on." I said. Then I heard his stomach growl. I laughed. "Are you hungry?"

He blushed. I laughed at that. He seemed to… well… he wasn't the type to smile or blush.

"No…" He lied. It was obvious. I grabbed him by the arm and walked towards the entrance.

"Do you like cheese and tortilla chips?" I asked. He's Mexican, course he does.

"Hell yea!" We walked into Meijers and walked to the Mexican Foods aisle. Yes… they have one.

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"Wow! Cheese… in a jar!! It's so good!!" That strange boy named Sasuke said as he looked inside the jar of liquid cheese. Con queso!! Wow… he just gets stranger by the second.

"You've never had cheese out of a jar before?! What part of Mexico are you from?!" I asked wondering if he's sane.

"Umm… well it's not all that great. It's like the Mexican Ghetto." He said still examining the cheese jar.

"Wow…" I sat back on the bench outside of the building with the nutcase. "Hey Sasuke."

"Yea?" He said trying to open the jar.

"How was it like where you lived?" I said taking the jar from him, taking out the metal spoon we bought and popping the seal. I handed back the jar opened.

"Well… it's like an anime convention. Except with real killing."

"Killing?!" I yelled sitting up quickly. "What the hell kind of place does that?!"

"Konoha. I'm a ninja. It's what we do." He said coolly like there was nothing wrong with what he had said.

"You're… a ninja? Seriously?! You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled in disbelief.

"No I'm not. I'm a real ninja." He said eating chips.

"Oh you're a ninja and I'm a samurai." I said rolling my eyes and sitting back down. Who was this guy?!

"I'd believe that." He said handing me the jar. I scoffed and ate my chip. "I'm all alone now. I have only my mad ninja skills to get me by in these tough streets filled with mediocre criminals who rely on guns instead of their hands. Hell back where I came from they didn't have guns. Here there is non-stop senseless killing where in Konoha we fight for our lives and revenge. I'd rather have Naruto kill me with ramen than be shot by an American convict. I mean it's better to be killed giving it your all and using your chakra than just get shot from behind and never even know who the hell killed you! Damn Itachi! That's all he ever did! Just senseless killing!! Stabbing people from behind! He was the most Mexican of us all yet he acted like some Hollywood murderer!!!"

There was a LONG silence after his speech. I didn't even want to ask.

"So… what now?" I asked after a while. "Ya know it's too bad they confiscated your coat. You were loaded."

"Yea… hmm… You could tell me you name now." He suggested. And shivered. Oh yea… I'd forgotten I didn't tell him.

"Fine… I'm Midnight. That's all you need to know."

"Okay… Midnight..." What was that about?

Then my cell phone started ringing. It was my mom.

"Hello?" I answered. "I'm still at Meijers."

He was just sitting there… staring at me on my cell. Don't they have cell phones in Mexico?!

"No I am not! Ugh! Alright. Bye." I hung up and put the cell back in my pocket. "Sorry Sasuke but I have to go. My mom just realized she left me here."

"Oh…" He said. His expression saddened.

"Oh come on. Not that again." I sighed.

"Will I get to see you again?" He asked jumping up.

"Uh… Heh…" I laughed nervously. Oh great. What do I do now?! "Maybe."

"Oh… well… I'll see you around then… maybe." He got up, stuck his hands in his pock and started to walk away.

"Wait!" I called after him. I heard a car pull up behind me. Oh what timing. "I had fun with you today. I'm sure you can find me. I'm not that hard to find."

His expression was blank but I could see a bit of happiness in his eyes. Aw… me first Mexican homeboy.

"See ya Sasuke!" I said and got into the car. Oh what fun it is to have a Mexican homeboy.

I laughed and my mom stared at me.

"Who was that?" She asked driving out of the parking lot.

"A friend." I said and we rode home.

Sasuke smiled to himself and walked into nowhere.

Xx-----xX

I will never forget the first adventure of many, well five, to come. When I met Sasuke. I think I'm gonna cry. Oh the memories…


	2. Adventure Two, Clothes Shopping

Again... i dont mean to be offencive to Mexicans or sasuke fans... i'm more making fun of myself. dont own BLINK-182 music, star wars, Naruto, Meijers, or anything else. But... I DO OWN ME! YES! Well... at least i think i do... R&R

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**The Five Adventures of Sasuke and Midnight at Meijers**

As told by Midnight.

For my homeboy… SASUKE "The Mexican" Uchiha.

So like one day, possibly a few years ago to posting date... I met my first (and only) Mexican homeboy. Yea… Here's how it all went down.

The Second Adventure…

Day two…

My cell phone rang. I was rocking to the beat of Small Things by Blink 182 (my ring) when I decided I should probably answer it. I didn't recognize the number, and I was almost reluctant to answer… but something told me to do answer.

"Trust the force!" A cracked up Obi-Wan Kenobi told me in the reflection of a melted snow puddle. "And answer the damn phone!"

I answered it. Why ignore the force? I mean… Yoda told them and it all worked out didn't it? Well… for some of them.

"Moshimoshi." I answered in Japanese, hoping to confuse whatever stalker called me.

"What the hell?!" I heard a familiar confused Mexican on the other line.

"Oh! Sasuke! Hi!!" I couldn't believe it! He actually called me! But wait… "How the hell did you get my number?!"

"Oh… umm… I'll tell you later… but… hey… you busy?" I didn't know how to answer that. I could tell he used some sort of illegal method of gaining my number and that he wanted to hang out with me. Well… I wasn't busy so…

"No, I'm free." I said splashing a puddle.

"Cool, meet me at Meijers."

"Uh… Why?"

"I don't exactly know where you live and I don't think you want me there."

"True…"

"Thanks… You gonna meet me there or not?"

"When?"

"Now I guess…"

"Uh… it'll take me a bit to get there… and… I need a ride! I am so NOT walking five miles!"

"Fine, fine. Is there anyone you can get a ride from?"

"Uh… my brother? Nah… he'd be suspicious and loves his car TOO much to let me in it."

"So then that's a no?

"Well… not exactly… unless you want my friend tagging along…"

"Who?"

"Kay. I'm sure she can get her dad to give me a lift. No wait… she isn't on break like I am! Oh man! My mom just got home! I'm not supposed to be using my minutes! I'll… see what I can do! If I'm not there in a half hour to an hour, then I probably won't… sorry."

"Nah, it's okay."

"See ya."

"Bye."

So I went on being depressed for ten minutes until my mom made me try on the pants she bought for me the day before. Thank god they were too big! YES! I could go see Sasuke!

As my mom and I pulled in a parking space I saw a familiar figure sitting on a bench outside. He was still there!

I walked behind through the door behind my mom. I signaled for Sasuke to come on, but I hoped he knew not to come near me with my mom.

He wasn't that stupid. Was he?

I walked to the girl's clothes department and looked for a pair of jeans for me to try on. And out of the corner of my eye… I saw him.

"What the…?!" I said to myself.

"What is it?" My mother asked showing me a pair of jeans with embroidery. I shook my head no.

"It's nothing."

Then I told my mother I was going to look over at the jeans on the rack on the other side of this clothes wall thing.

"What the hell are you doing?! What if my mom saw you?!"

"She didn't! Luckily!"

"Find anything?" My mother said walking over.

In a panic I pushed Sasuke into the rack.

"Nope! I don't like any of them."

"Well… try these on."

I sighed and obeyed. For a moment I forgot about my Mexican friend hiding in the rack of pants.

When I finally remembered about the one I pushed into the bushes I saw a lady looking the rack and was startled that someone was in there. She quickly left.

"You idiot!!"

"Thanks!"

"You couldn't leave and go somewhere else?!"

"I was waiting for you! For fifteen minutes I might add!"

"I was with my mom. So shut up."

"So where is she now?"

"She got a call saying we needed something so I told her I'd keep looking for clothes. Apparently I need a lot?"

"Okay then…"

So we walked around the clothes department and we walked into… well… a place guys shouldn't go. And it scarred Sasuke for life.

"OH SUCK IT UP!!"

"NO!"

I sighed, we kept walking and ended up in the make-up department.

For some reason there was a sale on cover up. But only one kind was left.

"For people with a dark skin tone. But why is that the only one left?" I pondered.

"Black people have nice skin?"

"Sasuke! In this country we call them African Americans! It's PC!"

"PC??" He stared confused.

"Politically Correct."

"Who cares about politics?"

"It's also polite! Now mind your manners!"

"Psh… You aren't my mother!"

"She'd say the same!"

"She can't. She's not here."

"Whatever…"

I set back down the make up and realized my hand was darker.

"Oh crap! That was open!" I looked around to see what I could wipe my hand on because I was so NOT going to wipe it on my clothes.

Then I thought of something mean.

I touched Sasuke's face.

He turned a light shade of red. And then stuttered. "What the hell?!"

I moved my hand down his faced and then started laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh great… I'm not gonna like what you just did am I?"

I shook my head no and kept laughing. I handed Sasuke one of the mirrors from the Jewelry Counter and handed it to him.

"OH MY GOD! WHY'D YOU DO THAT?!" He yelled looking at the large dark line down the side of his face.

"Shh!! Shh!! Calm down! Don't get us thrown out of here!"

"I hate you!"

"You don't mean that!"

He sighed. "Where's the bathrooms?"

"Come on…" I led him to the bathrooms and people stared at us as we walked there.

I waited for him outside of the bathrooms and decided to let my mom know I was going to the bathroom incase she was looking for me.

Then she said she was going to get in line and that when I was done to meet her in the front by the door where we came in.

I didn't want to leave just yet. I was having fun.

Then, Sasuke came out of the bathroom, with his face clean.

"You know how hard that was to get off?!"

"Sorry!!"

"No you're not!"

"Nope! Ha-ha! Oh… Sasuke… I have to go…"

"Oh… well… it was fun while it lasted."

"Yea…"

We walked towards the front together and then a question arose in my mind.

"Hey Sasuke, how'd you get my number?"

"WPP Files."

"WHAT?!"

"You looked like someone who's seen a crime or two. Devona?!"

"Previous adventure… What happens on the island… stays on the island."

"What island?"

"What else could it be?"

I walked away from the confused Sasuke, waving back to him.

I think I like him. As a friend. ONLY as a friend. I liked someone else more. Someone with a different background. Someone with sexy silver hair. But that's a different story.

This was shaping up to be a fun friend. HELLS YEA!

Xx--xX

Ah the fun never ends… TWO DOWN, THREE MORE TO GO! CHYEA!


	3. Adventure Three, Frozen Cokes

And now for the next installment of the 5 adventures! KISS MY ASS MIDNA! HAHA! Oh and... my mom isn't _really _that insane. I just think she is. She's really just a normal mom. R&R. Disclaimer! Of course!

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**The Five Adventures of Sasuke and Midnight at Meijers**

As told by Midnight.

For my homeboy… SASUKE "The Mexican" Uchiha.

So like one day, possibly a few years ago to posting date... I met my first (and only) Mexican homeboy. Yea… Here's how it all went down.

The Third Adventure…

Day three…

It was two days after the last time I saw I my little Mexican homeboy. It was kind dull without him. Sure he called my cell at one in the morning but I think I kind of missed him.

I was sitting on my couch, staring out the window, completely bored out of my mind, when all of the sudden a crazy little Mexican came RUNNING INTO MY WINDOW!

I never would have thought this would happen in all of my life, but it did. Someone actually _ran_ into my window!! There have been birds but, never a human! Now I wished I hadn't missed him.

I walked to the window to see the idiot on the ground with a dog sniffing and gnawing at him.

"That damn dog from down the street again…" I said to myself, shaking my head. I walked outside, shooed the dog away and dragged the half-eaten Mexican to the backyard garden.

"SASUKE!" I yelled in his face after gently slapping him on the face. "SASUKE! WAKE YOUR ASS UP!" I slapped him a good one after that.

"WHAT!?" He sat up quickly and rubbed his face. "Oww… What'd you do that for?"

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE!?"

"Where's here?"

"MY HOUSE! YOU RAN INTO MY FREAKING WINDOW!"

"That was your window?"

"YEA! WHY ARE YOU DOWN MY STREET?!"

"I was being chased by several dogs! And I kind of ended up into your window."

"IT BETTER NOT BE BROKEN! HOW WOULD I EXPLAIN THAT TO MY MOTHER?!"

"Stupid kids across the street?"

"THE KIDS ACROSS THE STREET ARE FOUR! THEY CAN'T EVEN WALK THAT FAR!"

"Then I don't know!"

"YOU'LL BE PAYING FOR IT IF IT'D BROKEN YOU STUPID MEXICAN!" So I dragged him by the ear like I was Misty and he was Brock on Pokemon, to the front of my house.

"OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! LET GOOOO!!"

I sighed in relief. My window was fine. Except for his face in the dirt.

"Clean my window. NOW!"

"…okay…"

Fifteen minutes later, my window was good as new… until a bird flew right into it. I just shook my head and sighed. Then I turned my attention to the Mexican hiding behind a tree.

"SASUKE! Get your…" I couldn't swear outside. The neighbors were out. "Just get over here!"

He walked over with his head lowered.

"Yes?"

"You're such an…!"

Then I heard a car pull into the driveway behind me.

I turned around to see my mom getting out of her car.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"Hey Mom… Uh… he was already leaving."

And I didn't lie. He was gone by time my mom blinked again.

"Who was that?" Uh oh… what am I going to tell her??

"A hobo who ran into the window. How was your day?"

She brushed off the comment and answered my question.

"Meijers? AGAIN?! What now?!"

"SALES!"

I sighed and followed my mom into the car. I hated when it was the first day of the sale.

My mom went to whatever sale it was and gave me money for a frozen coke. She said she wouldn't be long so I was just going to get a frozen coke and sit on the benches right inside the store.

And you would never have guessed who was at the frozen coke machine. Okay so maybe you would. SASUKE.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" I yelled in a low voice.

"Shopping." He answered nonchalantly.

"YOU'RE POOR! YOU HAVE NO MONEY TO SHOP!"

"Okay so I'm messing around with people. So what?"

"You're going to get thrown out of the store if you do that!"

"I haven't yet. What this." He went over to the frozen coke machine. (It was by the registers and was a self-serve one. I just minded my own business and went on the other side of the machine to get my frozen treat.

I walked by Sasuke and couldn't help but laugh at what he had done. Evil genius this kid was. He tied at a rubber band around the handle and let this kid, who looked like a very annoying kid from the Middle East that was from my school, flip out because the machine wouldn't stop flowing.

(A/N: NOT BEING RACIST! I SWEAR! I'm still more making fun of myself! Like I think I said before… I don't mean to offend anyone. THAT KID ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME! It's not because of his ethnic background. It's because he won't leave me ALONE! And Sasuke's just Mexican. Nothing to that.)

"SASUKE!" I grabbed his arm and ran to the room in between outside and the actual door. "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"I was thinking that it was hilarious." He said like it was nothing.

"YOU COULD GET ARRESTED!" I yelled. Then I lowered my voice and said. "Or worse… deported. You aren't even legal in this country are you?!"

He was silent. I took that as a yes. He was so stupid. Why did he even come to this country?!

"Sasuke… you've got to think sometime! At least obey the law and try not to get killed. Where have you been living?"

"Fine. Here."

"HERE?! HOW?!"

"The store's open 24/7."

"True…"

"But… Do you sleep?!"

"Duh."

"No one sees you?!"

"I sleep in the office. That night manager's really cute." I was mad now. I slapped him hard in the face and stormed away.

"Was it something I said?"

A guy walking past Sasuke shrugged.

"I REALLY HATE HIM!" I yelled and people stared at me like I was insane.

But then something occurred to me. Why did I hate him? He obviously flirted with some shallow girl to get his way. But that shouldn't bother me. I have other reason to hate him. My window, for example.

I drank my frozen drink too fast and got a brain freeze. I sat down where I told my mother I'd be waiting. I REALLY wanted to go home now.

I didn't really look over when someone sat down on the opposite side of the bench. I didn't care. It was probably just some stranger. I wished it were.

"Hey… I'm sorry." It was Sasuke. He sounded sincere enough.

"Go tell it to the kid you messed with. I don't want to hear it." I looked over at the exasperated underpaid janitors cleaning the melted mess all over the floor.

"I don't think I can find him in the store anymore."

"Thanks to you. You're so mean."

"I can't help it. It's in my blood."

"Spawn of the devil?"

He laughed. "Something like that."

I sighed. I saw my mother in the check-out lane. She had fewer items than I thought.

"I have to go. Come by Friday. Now that you know where I live, we can do something that doesn't involve almost getting throw out of a supermarket."

"But it's fun."

"Illegal."

"Stupid American laws."

"Damn right." I got up and followed my mom out of the door and to the car.

I thought up a maniacal plan for Friday. Oh how fun this would be. Okay… so I lied to him. It _did_ involve almost getting thrown out of a supermarket. But hey… would he mind? I didn't think so!

Poor, helpless little Mexican. (Maniacal laughter)

Xx--xX

Could I be more evil than he? I may just be.

THREE ADVENTURES DOWN, TWO MORE ADVENTURES TO GO! HELLS YEA!


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